Butterfly On A Wheel (Again)

Having been a relatively new convert to 'Vaping', since January 2014, the good news of my release from a 50 year sentence of smoking cigarettes (I wus innocent, 'onest Guvnor!), has been shattered by the swift realisation that my long awaited parole will shortly be scuppered by the 'Establishment'.

It appears that there are dark forces abroad that are determined that I will be returned to the slammer for the crime of 'gaining early release without prior authorisation'. My Probation Officer (Stan Glands) has informed me that by the illicit use of an e-cigarette (or vapour tank, in my case), I have contravened a number of The Regulations, namely:

1. Obtaining a pecuniary advantage in extending my life by a good few years
2. Fraudulently 'normalising' the grossly indecent act of SMOKING in public by not smoking
3. Deceptively using certain harmless chemicals in combination to produce a visible mist that closely resembles SMOKE but does no harm to anyone or anything. However, because it does resemble SMOKE it therefore must 're-normalise' the grossly indecent act of SMOKING in public by not smoking
4. Committing the obscenity of using FLAVOURS within the aforesaid harmless chemicals, which will attract The Children to look upon the SMOKE and corrupt them away from their sado-masochistic computer games, online porn, internet gambling, underage binge drinking and soft/hard drug use towards a 'Gateway' into not smoking cigarettes and avoiding early death and disease
5. Stealing money from The Tobacco Companies, The Pharmaceutical Companies and HM Government by not: buying cigarettes, using nicotine replacement therapy, paying tobacco duty and dying early

So it seems that if I continue to Vape my fate will be sealed by the full force of the Establishment bearing down on me and treating me as a criminal junkie and modern day Pied Piper. The use of nicotine is apparently as addictive as crystal meth unless, strangely, the nicotine is in a medically regulated product, whereupon it transforms itself to become safe for long-term use as an expensive and ineffective harm reduction tool.

So who is this Establishment that I speak of?

The Establishment then includes the following (but not exclusively):

• The World Health Organisation
• The European Union
• The Pharmaceutical Companies
• The Tobacco Companies
• The 'Doctors': MRHA, NICE, BMA etc. (i.e., the ones who have taken the 'Hypocrites Oath')
• The Nice Tobacco Control People in Public Health
• Dept of Health
• Caerphilly Council
• My Probation Officer

These particular people/institutions above are preparing to end my nascent Vaping adventure by bringing their, not inconsiderable weight (especially that of my Probation Officer), to bear on me and approximately 2.1 million other UK citizens.

Who breaks a butterfly on a wheel?